Don’t call this guy.
Dear Rob,
I have been going crazy for the past 24 hours. I moved to a new city almost 2 years ago and since then I really haven’t dated anybody.
I have a close friend “with benefits” who I spend most of my time with but am realizing he is not who I want to be with and that I need to get out more and act my age (21).
So, this past weekend I hooked up with a guy who I have been attracted to since the day I met him. He is a ladies man so I would always tell myself to stay away! But this was something I couldn’t pass up.
He always tells me how much he really likes me but would never want to hurt me when he sees me out or even asks my friends about me when I am not around. When we do talk he explains that he does not want a relationship, he just wants to act his age for the time being.
Well, he stayed at my house and we became very sexual and passionate with each other. The chemistry was so amazing! Although, I did not have sex with him I am having a terrible feeling about what I did. I don’t want him to feel different about me.
Was he even telling the truth from the beginning about liking me? Why am I so attracted to a guy who is with different women all the time? Should I even call him or wait for him to call me? Yikes! What should I do?
Confused and Unsure
Hi Confused and Unsure,
This guy is a player. A classic syndrome of a man doing what he can to fulfill his sexual needs, with little or no regard to his partner. Or their feelings.
Despite him asking about you with your friends, I have a feeling that this is just his usual MO (modis operendi).
Attraction has many levels, the first being a physical attraction. While this is required (usually) to begin a relationship, it’s a deep down, true commitment that makes any relationship work.
You say that you are only 21, that’s fine. It’s a great age to be free, dating and not going too fast into any committed relationship. Just don’t cheapen yourself for a couple of thrills. Trust me, they’ll come back to haunt you as you get older.
Don’t call this guy. And when he does call, put him off for a few days…. make him earn the time to spend with you and make sure that he’s moved you out of his “little black book” and onto his speed dial, as a way of showing commitment towards getting to know you better and not just using you.
I hope this helps, let me know how things work out for you.
Rob
